“I was heartbroken. I was gutted. I was embarrassed. I was mad at myself,” Harrison, 51, confessed during the debut episode of his new podcast, “The Most Dramatic Podcast Ever with Chris Harrison. “I was disappointed in myself. The last thing in the world I ever wanted to do was be an agent of anything negative—whether it had to do with race or anything.” After serving as Bachelor Nation’s longtime host since 2002, Harrison stepped down from the role after sparking controversy by defending then-contestant Rachael Kirkconnel after photos surfaced of her attending an Antebellum plantation-themed sorority party in 2018. While speaking in an interview with Extra correspondent and former Bachelor contestant Rachel Lindsay, Harrison seemingly advocated for Kirkconnell despite the racist actions from her past, sympathizing with her for the heavy backlash she was receiving online at the time. Kirkconnell later apologized, taking accountability for her ignorance. Lindsay—the franchise’s first Black Bachelorette—spoke out against Harrison, prompting him to later apologize for “wrongly speaking in a manner that perpetuates racism.” Months later, Harrison officially confirmed his exit from Bachelor Nation. “Things spun out of control for a number of reasons and I was sick, sick to my stomach,” he recalled of the time after his departure. “I lost 20 pounds. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. I was scared to death.” “It was just one gut punch after the other, and mentally and physically I deteriorated pretty bad,” he said. He then addressed the infamous interview again, insisting that he wasn’t his “normal eloquent self.” “I didn’t express myself like I normally do. I think that part we all agree on,” he explained. “But as far as my standing in the community and the show, it really didn’t register on the Richter scale. There was much more egregious things going on in the world and things that had happened.” Admitting that his “apology was warranted” at the time, Harrison added, “I did misstep and I made a mistake.” Following Harrison’s departure, former Bachelorettes Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe filled in as hosts for seasons 17 and 18, before Jesse Palmer was named as the official replacement for Harrison. The first two episodes of The Most Dramatic Podcast Ever with Chris Harrison are streaming now everywhere podcasts are available.
