How to develop a positive attitude
1. Practice mindfulness
“Mindfulness affords you the ability to be in the present moment. You’re less focused on the past which breeds depression and less focused on the future which breeds anxiety,” says Lin Sternlicht, LMHC, a therapist and co-founder of Family Addiction Specialist based in New York City. Being mindful is a healthy habit you should adopt.
2. Use positive affirmations and mantras
“Some people find affirmations and mantras silly, but research reflects that the way we talk to ourselves has a profound impact on various aspects of our lives, including our attitude,” explains Sternlicht. Affirmations and mantras are positive statements that we say to ourselves in order to reinforce positive thoughts. These can be especially powerful in the morning to help set our attitude for the day, as well as when our mind focuses on self-defeating thoughts.
3. Exercise regularly
Most people think of exercise in terms of our physical health, but physical activity has a profound impact on our mental health as well. “Exercise releases endorphins which trigger positive feelings in the body, and exercise also serves to reduce stress, anger, anxiety, depression and other negative feelings,” says Sternlicht.
4. Find the good in every situation
It is human nature to automatically see what’s wrong. “Train your mind to see the positive side of things,” says Jill Liberman, author, motivational speaker and founder of Choose Happy. For example, if you are looking for work, see it as an opportunity to find your dream job.
5. Surround yourself with positive people
“Negativity breeds negativity,” says Liberman. “Happiness is contagious.” Spend time with people who lift you up and support you.
6. Read inspirational books
Inspiring and motivational books can be great tools to help put you in a positive mindset.
7. Speak to yourself as though you were speaking to a best friend
“You would never call your best friend dumb or not good enough,” says therapist Alex Greenwald of Empower Your Mind Therapy. We are supportive to our friends and family members, but often very harsh toward ourselves.
8. Do things you love
Allow yourself to do things you love at least once a day, such as taking a brisk walk or dancing to fun, upbeat music, says Greenwald. Even if it’s only five minutes, it makes a huge difference in maintaining a positive attitude.
9. Avoid comparing yourself to others
“Everyone is different and comparing yourself to someone else or how they may have handled things is not productive,” says Greenwald. You do you.
10. Flip the script
“Challenge yourself to change the way you view the situation,” says Greenwald. Instead of saying, “I’m a terrible parent, I always yell,” try “I will work on my patience. I’m doing my best.”
11. Keep a gratitude journal
Write down three things you are grateful for or love about yourself every morning. “This will start your day in happiness and confidence and will remind you of the important things in life,” says Greenwald.
12. Ask for support
Talking through an issue with a friend or partner might help you find a solution or a healthy way of dealing with your emotions. “It may also strengthen your relationship; the knowledge of having unconditional support can improve mental health,” says Greenwald. Showing your appreciation for the friendship will make you both feel good.
13. Take a break
Sometimes not doing anything at all and giving yourself time to reset is exactly what you need to feel better about yourself or a certain situation, notes Greenwald.
14. Tidy up
Getting organized gives us a sense of pride about our home. “We get a sense of accomplishment by completing small tidy-up tasks,” says Jamie Novak, author, and motivational speaker. These things can increase our feeling of positivity.
15. Laugh
Laughing feels good and it’s contagious. Go ahead and share stories with friends, read funny books, scroll through hilarious pictures and brush up on your best one-liners. You’ll instantly get in a better mood.
16. Enjoy the simple things
A good cup of coffee. Watching the sunrise or sunset. Taking a walk with a friend. It’s the little things that give us a great deal of pleasure and a positive attitude.
17. Have a goal in mind
“Having a goal in life allows you a focal point on the horizon to reflect on, allowing you to stay calm in the face of life’s ups and downs,” says William Cannon, Founder of Uplead. Adding sense and reason to your life—by setting goals—will improve your mood dramatically.
18. Get plenty of rest
Never underestimate the importance of sleep. It’s hard to stay positive when you’re running on empty. Try for at least eight hours a night.
19. Take deep breaths
“This easy-to-do mindfulness practice takes you out of worrying about the future or regretting the past and brings you fully present in the moment,” says Alex Montagu, a certified meditation and mindfulness teacher and founder of Tranquil Lawyer. Taking a deep breath is a great way to ease anxieties and stress. It’s simple, but offers immediate relief.
20. Practice the power of appreciation
“The power of appreciation is simple—it’s looking at the glass half full, but it goes farther than that,” Dr. Noelle Nelson, clinical psychologist and author. “It’s deliberately, consciously recognizing the value of the people, things, experiences and situations in your life.” It’s deliberately looking at things with a new, more appreciative eye.
21. Keep a gratitude jar
“Every day I write something I am grateful for on a small piece of paper, fold it and put it into my gratitude jar,” says Sarina Jain, founder of Masala Bhangra. You can also have your kids do this to get them in the practice of being grateful. When you’re feeling down, go through the jar and read all the wonderful things you have in your life.
22. Talk with your friends
Jain notes that it’s important to know that you have a network of friends who have your back when things aren’t looking great. Talking to those friends on a regular basis can really boost your attitude.
23. Think back to how it started
“When I am down or in a space where I feel irrelevant, I sit down for 30 minutes and remind myself of how it all started, why it all started and how far I have come,” says Jain. “Then I get up and take charge again.”
24. Think of weekends as two-day vacations
“My 7-year-old started calling weekends two-day vacations last summer and it stuck,” says Madeline Schwarz of Madeline Schwarz Coaching. “It makes them feel more special and delineates them from the workweek even when social plans are limited.” It’s a great mood-booster.
25. Remember that all feelings are valid and all thoughts are optional
“Emotions should pass through the body in 30-60 seconds but sometimes we get stuck because of our thoughts,” says Schwarz. “Making space for negative emotions allows them to pass and make room for more positive emotions.”
26. Celebrate small wins
You might not rock it out of the park every day, but celebrating small successes trains your brain to focus on what’s working instead of what’s not, says Schwarz.
27. Do things that feed your creative spirit
“For me, it’s doing things with my hands—taking a doodle break, picking up an adult coloring book and building Legos with my seven-year-old,” says Schwarz.
28. Play
Do activities that add laughter to your life. If you can’t remember, think back to what you liked to do as a kid, says Schwarz.
29. Prioritize fun
If you have a full day of meetings planned, make sure you schedule a walk or a coffee break with a friend. If you don’t make fun a priority, you’ll get bogged down in all the stresses of life. Next up: Ready for a Fresh Start? Here are 30+ Ways to Totally Change Your Life
Sources
Lin Sternlicht, LMHC, therapist and co-founder of Family Addiction Specialist based in New York City]Jill Liberman, author, motivational speaker, and founder of Choose HappyAlex Greenwald, therapist with Empower Your Mind TherapyJamie Novak, author and motivational speakerWilliam Cannon, Founder of UpleadAlex Montagu, a certified meditation and mindfulness teacher and founder of Tranquil LawyerDr. Noelle Nelson, clinical psychologist and authorSarina Jain, founder of Masala BhangraMadeline Schwarz of Madeline Schwarz Coaching
